How to Help a Loved One Through a Panic Attack

When her husband started experiencing panic attacks nine years ago, Kat soon realised that the No.1 thing to do was make sure he felt safe. Together, they identified his warning signs for an oncoming attack and sought professional help.

Nowadays, Kat feels much better equipped to help her husband combat his panic attacks. In today's article, she shares what she's learned.

For this article, I have interviewed my husband, who has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. He started experiencing regular panic attacks about nine years ago, which affected us both. We battled intermittently for at least three years before things began to calm down.

Today, depression is still very much a part of our lives, but the panic attacks are under control. This is mainly due to a lot of work my husband did and some valuable lessons I'd learned.

I want to share what we both learned during this journey to help you support a loved one through a panic attack and the anxiety that comes with it.

Understanding a panic attack

In our experience, there is not actually a whole lot that another person can do when somebody is in the midst of a full-blown panic attack. A long time ago, when I was trying to understand what my husband was going through, I read a metaphor that helped me a lot:

“Imagine you are sitting at the open door of a small aircraft, about one thousand metres in the sky. Picture the scene with all the noise, the force of the wind, and the terrifying view. You are about to jump. Your heart is racing - you might feel sick or like you can't breathe. You are dealing with everything that is going on.”

“Now imagine your boss tapping your shoulder as you’re about to make the leap, asking you for Q3’s Total Sales this year. Can you even understand this question? Let alone answer?”

During a panic attack, a lot of stuff will likely be happening in your loved one's head. They might not be able to answer questions or hold a conversation. This sudden inability to communicate battles with the physical symptoms their body will be throwing at them.

The symptoms are genuine. My husband's panic attacks manifested themselves by affecting his breathing. His breath got so heavy that he physically ached. We spent a few nights in A&E, where his observations showed no sign of lung damage, yet he struggled for air. We spent many more nights in the hospital car park, which seemed just about close enough for him to feel safe.

How you can help your loved one

If someone's having an acute panic attack, ensure they feel safe. Let them feel your presence. If a hug is too much for them to tolerate or you cannot hug them because of the current circumstances, just be there with them.

Panic attacks can indicate a whole heap of other anxiety-related issues and are only the tip of the iceberg. In our experience, if my husband experiences panic attacks, it means he is also experiencing near-constant anxiety.

If your loved one is having panic attacks, there are likely underlying emotional and physical symptoms at play. Often, it is fear of fear itself and the fear of having another attack.

3 top tips for helping a loved one through a panic attack

1. Reassure them

Often, places are triggers. A big supermarket or a hospital, for example. When faced with these, have their back. Discreetly let them know if they are scared of others seeing. Use reassuring words and remind them the appointment won't take long.

2. Try to distract them

Talk about things that will help them take their mind off the situation. Ask them questions that take them to another place in their minds. Remind them of a holiday you took together or start planning one you'll take soon.

3. Seek professional help

I cannot emphasise this enough. If you or a loved one are struggling with panic attacks, seek professional help.

• Counselling could be a good way for your loved one to deal with underlying anxiety symptoms. It will also allow them to talk about their feelings with a trained therapist who will listen and support them without judgment.
  
  
• You can seek help online or via tele-therapy rather than in-person. A phone or virtual conversation with a GP might lead your loved one to consider seeking help when they’ve shown resistance before.
  
  
• CBT (also known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can help form new coping mechanisms for panic attacks. My husband now regularly uses these techniques to help overcome his symptoms.
  
  
• Medication might be another treatment option, depending on your doctor’s recommendations.

The takeaway

I think we got through the hard times with a combination of things. For my husband, it was vital for him to acknowledge that he was not weak but actually sick. Once we opened up to friends and family, he realised that he was not alone and that many others had similar experiences to share.

Of course, my husband still has moments of anxiety and periods where he feels very down. The key difference nowadays is that he feels way more comfortable talking about it and has the coping strategies to manage it.

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The individual(s) who have written and created the content in and whose images appear in this article have been paid by Teva Pharmaceuticals for their contributions. This content represents the opinions of the contributor and does not necessarily reflect those of Teva Pharmaceuticals. Similarly, Teva Pharmaceuticals does not review, control, influence or endorse any content related to the contributor's websites or social media networks. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered medical advice or recommendations. Consult a qualified medical professional for diagnosis and before beginning or changing any treatment regimen​. 

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Date of preparation: November 2023
D: COB-GB-NP-00294 (V1.0) / T: COB-GB-NP-00279 (V1.0) / M: COB-GB-NP-00264 (V1.0)