You Can Still Be a Social Butterfly with Asthma: 4 Tips to Take Control of Your Social Life

Can asthma affect your social life? According to people from the asthma community, the overwhelming answer is YES.

Today, Cróna talks about the impact asthma has on her well-being in social situations. She then shares four top tips for balancing a thriving social life with effective asthma management.

Asthma is always with me wherever I go. It can flare up at work, home, when I exercise – and, as much as I sometimes want to – I can't leave it at home when I want a night out.

In an Asthma UK survey, 70% of people studied said asthma got in the way of their social life.

That's been me. Asthma and my social life never seemed to mix well. I was embarrassed by my asthma and having to take an inhaler along with my makeup and purse. Going out without my medication was too risky, as I knew that would be the time I'd have an attack. I didn't want to talk about it with my friends; I would dart off alone if I felt wheezy or short of breath.

Sometimes, the idea of going out was as stressful as the actual event. Asthma and emotions can be strongly linked, and all the pressure piled on by keeping it a secret made my asthma worse. I wanted to enjoy myself. I wanted to make my own choices and not feel trapped by the ones asthma was making for me. So, friend by friend, colleague by colleague, I started opening up.

It was one of the best things I could do.

Talking to my friends about asthma transformed my social life

Having a supportive group of people around me has made coping with asthma much easier during social events and special occasions. Nowadays, it doesn’t feel as if asthma is hell-bent on ruining my night - and I'm well prepared if it raises its ugly head.

My friends and family are aware of my asthma and its impact on my life. They've seen some of the asthma attacks and episodes over the years and helped me cope with them. It's been a learning curve for all of us, especially when my asthma was uncontrolled and unpredictable.

I've had a good couple of months with my asthma more recently. Due to the pandemic, I've spent lots of time at home, avoiding my usual triggers.

In Ireland, we're slowly beginning to rebuild and return to our social lives. We can sit freely in restaurants and pubs - even travel. After twelve months or more of clean living, I was interested in seeing how my asthma adapted to the new, new normal. My biggest asthma triggers have always been cigarette smoke, air pollution, and strong fumes from perfume and aftershave.

Some of my friends smoke, and I'm determined not to let asthma create a wedge between us and our friendship. Of course, no amount of curiosity would make me go into a smoking courtyard! When the cigarettes come out, I hang back in the freshest air I can find, with my inhaler ready. Knowing my flare-up triggers, my friends will do their best to direct their smoke or move to another seat. It may sound like a small thing, but it makes all the difference to my nights out.

A little bit of honesty from me and kindness from my friends goes a long way. It certainly beats running off alone to cope. If you are yet to talk about asthma with your social circle, the best time will always be now. They'll understand more than you think!

Asthma triggers are a constant worry on nights out

How much cigarette smoke triggers me became painfully apparent at a Billy Joel concert a few years ago. The audience couldn't smoke in the Aviva Stadium in Dublin, so many people lit up as we left.

As I walked behind someone smoking, trapped in the surge of the crowd, the stream blew directly in my face. I began coughing uncontrollably. The lady turned around, and it was clear she thought I was exaggerating my coughing for dramatic effect. I rushed past her, settling myself a few steps ahead (and out of harm's way), fumbling for my medication. As the lady caught up (thankfully, now cigarette free), she was incredibly apologetic.

In another article about asthma awareness, I talked about asthma being mostly an invisible condition. I remember when my asthma attacks happened mainly at night; I'd rush to see a doctor at 1 a.m., but I went to work in the morning as if nothing happened. I didn't "look" sick, but I was constantly exhausted and isolated. Before I reached out to family and friends, I was worried I'd look like a hypochondriac.

Asthma can make me feel guilty in social situations

Sometimes, it felt like my inhaler was the only "proof" I had of living with a chronic condition. 1 out of 5 people in the UK live with a disability, and 80% of those people have an illness considered invisible to the rest of the world. Understanding and sympathy can depend on how vulnerable I look to others - intentionally, by explaining, or unintentionally when someone witnesses an attack or sees me using my medication. These "social conditions" made accepting my asthma and how others see it hard to handle.

I was brought crashing back to old thought patterns outside that Billy Joel concert. I realised how much triggers can take me by surprise in any social situation - even ones I think I've prepared for. But a more treacherous part of me - a part of me I thought I'd left behind - felt like I'd caused a scene. I felt bad for the lady who wanted to enjoy a concert and a night out. The attack was beyond my control, but I still felt that hard nugget of guilt in my heart.

Then, on one holiday in Australia, I had an attack in a restaurant. I could see people craning to look at the commotion, so I made a hasty exit out the front.

It’s hard to fight back the tears when genuinely frightened during an attack, especially in public. All I want at that moment – all anyone with asthma wants – is some privacy to deal with it quietly and recover. All the eyes watching me can easily send me into a spin, which makes my attack worse.

Whenever a new social occasion calls, I think of Australia and motivate myself to be as prepared as possible. One thing I’ve tried recently is using mindfulness to steady strong emotions when having an asthma flare-up. There’s no fail-safe to prevent an asthma attack – trust me, they come when they want, prepared or not – but there are some things I can do to help as and when they happen.

So, if you want to stop asthma from ruling your social life, here are my top 4 tips for weathering an unpredictable storm:

4 Tips for being a social butterfly with asthma

1. Talk to your loved ones in advance of social events

Talk to your friends and family about asthma if you haven't already. Sharing my triggers didn’t make me look “vulnerable” or “weak”. It did the opposite! Now I have a team around me wherever I go, and they watch out for any potential triggers I may miss.

I’ve also told my loved ones how to deal with someone else’s asthma attack. When I’m in the throes of a flare-up, it can be terrifying – but it’s also scary for those watching who care about me. The most important thing we all do is stay calm, even if our fight, flight or freeze buttons are pushed.

You don’t have to deal with asthma alone. Managing an asthma attack when explaining what’s happening is also no easy feat. Prepare the people you’re going with in advance, and trust them to understand and rally behind you. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

2. Have an asthma action plan

Perfectly balancing asthma with your social life means being prepared whenever you go out. You may think you can handle your asthma alone, but everyone can benefit from an asthma action plan. Many action plans are on a piece of paper or card that you take everywhere with you (you’ll get used to it eventually!). If you should find yourself in an unpleasant situation while out alone or with friends, this piece of card can tell someone:

• The medicines you take every day to help manage your asthma symptoms
• What to do if the asthma is getting worse
• The emergency action to take if someone’s having an attack and when to call 999

You can talk about having an action plan with your GP or a nurse, and they’ll help make one personal to you. If you’re dealing with a severe asthma attack that needs attention in hospital or A&E, the card will be invaluable to those trying to treat you. It’ll also help your usual doctor keep track of your condition!

My doctor has given me an inhaler for emergencies as part of my plan, and I make sure others know where to find it before we go out. The last thing we need is panicked searching when I’m having an attack!

3. Take “asthma resources” with you, such as masks

While the horrors of COVID-19 won’t fade for a long time, the pandemic normalised masks. Masks and scarves can be beneficial barriers against smoke, pollution, and perfume fumes, so I carry some in a bag or pocket. Masks also help with cold air, another trigger for my asthma.

4. If you need to leave the event, take a friend

When asthma strikes, it’s tempting to hide away and deal with the symptoms yourself.

But now I think about all the times I rushed off alone, and I cringe. What if my asthma attack had gotten worse? No one knew where I was, and there wasn’t anyone around to dial 999 and talk to the emergency services.

If you need to escape, ask or signal to someone that you need their help or company. Not everyone withdraws from someone having an attack! That way, I know someone is ready to spring into action if I need them to.

At worst, I’ll have a friend calm me through a short attack! A tiny bit embarrassing, maybe, but I’d rather be safe than sorry any day of the week.

Asthma and your social life: The takeaway

My sister finally got married in October 2021 after COVID-19 meant a long time of uncertainty, date changes and altered plans. She handled everything like a trooper, but I’m proud of her for keeping her head together even when the stressors racked up.

It was such a special day for the whole family – extra special, in fact, because of how turbulent the year had been. The intimate setting meant I thankfully felt at ease with my asthma for the day. I was surrounded by my family, watching my sister say her vows, and I felt secure enough to enjoy the day to the full.

But I didn’t forget my action plan, medication, or to prepare guests in advance! Getting laissez-faire is a dangerous mistake, even when my asthma is well-controlled. So, remember my four-point plan and don’t get lax!

I will reconnect with more of my family and friends this summer, safe in the knowledge I have their understanding and support should I need it.

Mixing asthma and a social life can be tricky – but it’s not impossible. Asthma will do its hardest to shut me in behind closed doors. My action plan, friends, family, and sheer determination help me break free. It works!

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The individual(s) who have written and created the content in and whose images appear in this article have been paid by Teva Pharmaceuticals for their contributions. This content represents the opinions of the contributor and does not necessarily reflect those of Teva Pharmaceuticals. Similarly, Teva Pharmaceuticals does not review, control, influence or endorse any content related to the contributor's websites or social media networks. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered medical advice or recommendations. Consult a qualified medical professional for diagnosis and before beginning or changing any treatment regimen​. 

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Date of preparation: August 2023
D: COB-GB-NP-00143 (V1.0) / T: COB-GB-NP-00172 (V1.0) / M: COB-GB-NP-00171 (V1.0)