Social Anxiety at Work? Do These 4 Things

Working mainly from home in 2020 and 2021, companies pushed for workers to (at least partially) return to the office in 2022. 

But while some people resented the commute, others were more worried about socialising with their colleagues again.   

Diagnosed with social anxiety in 2011, Claire Eastham has been battling those same feelings since joining the working world. After analysing her mindset, Claire wants to share four timeless tips for managing social anxiety at work.

As she attests, social anxiety isn’t just a lockdown problem. Some people have been dealing with it for decades. Read her tips below.

I sensed a sudden jolt in my gut before I sat at my desk. I felt off-balance, unnerved and exposed. 

I'd returned to the workplace after almost two years of working from home. My boss smiled at me warmly, and I tried to respond in kind... but I was studying her face for any hint she was judging me. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweating, and my mouth was like sandpaper. 

I wanted to take a sip of water, but I knew my hands would shake and draw attention to my unusual behaviour. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone, and my mind went blank. 

"Why are you being so weird?" a voice hissed in my mind. "Be professional - or at least stop being so blimming strange!" 

It was my first face-to-face meeting in over a year. One in the office, rather than over the safety of video chat. I made it through in great discomfort, my muscles bunched and tense, speaking only when necessary. I left feeling exhausted and frustrated. 

What the heck just happened? 

But, deep down, I knew. My "old friend", social anxiety, had clearly decided to pay a call. 

Returning to the workplace made my social anxiety flare again 

I was first diagnosed with social anxiety disorder in 2011. Since then, I like to think I've become a non-medical expert, even writing a book about my experiences. 

So, when social anxiety targets me at work, it's a bit of a shock. I always forget that anxiety acts like eczema or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS): it can pop up out of nowhere and cause chaos. 

Like the rest of the world, I was tucked away in my home, on and off, for almost two years. Interactions were reduced to phone calls or online video chats during the lockdown or long work-from-home periods. My social anxiety was incredibly happy with this arrangement – even telling me it was the only friend I needed. 

"See?" my social anxiety whispered, "I've been telling you to avoid people for decades. Look how much happier I am now!" 

And then... it went to sleep. Like a curled-up snake, it lay dormant, un-agitated and un-triggered. I thought I was better.

Instead, I was being blissfully naive - of course, my social anxiety wouldn't let me ditch it without a fight. I was dealing with a mental health setback that I could never have predicted.

A friend of mine (a real friend, not a manifestation of my own fears) once used an analogy when training for a London marathon: 

"You need to train yourself," they said sternly, "I wouldn't ever wake up one morning and just assume I could run 26 miles! It's something you do slowly and build up to it. Give your brain the same respect." 

It's true - we expect so much from our brains and have little tolerance when they don't work how we want. After my first meeting back at work, I knew I had slipped back into some bad habits. 

But, this time, instead of chastising myself, I would take steps and make sure I felt as comfortable as possible moving forward. 

4 tips for managing social anxiety at work

The world returned to "normal" in 2022, but social anxiety is still a problem for those who feel it, pandemic-related or not.

If social anxiety in the office is the "norm" for you, adapt these tips to suit your current situation or mindset. They may still help! 

1. Try finding a perm or temporary hybrid-working compromise

Remember that marathon analogy? 

It's better to build yourself up slowly than force everything at once. Social anxiety at work won't just "go away" – you need to allow yourself to adapt without strain and build your confidence. 

It depends on your boss, but the worst that can happen is "no". If you've been back at the office full-time for a while, still talk to your manager or supervisor. It may be possible to negotiate hybrid working. 

If your boss doesn't allow you to work from home, you can still control meetings on your social calendar. I've been very strict about how many weekly meet-ups I have - even with close friends. It can be frustrating, but I am determined to build the right foundations for social integration in my brain. That means being patient. 

2. Be honest about the help you need 

That's speaking honestly about your current hurdles with your friends, family, managers, and everybody who may be able to help. 

Honesty can be much more difficult with your employer than with your friends. 

Arrange a meeting with your boss one-on-one, or ask for a member of HR to attend. Refrain from skirting around the issue or asking for hybrid working out of the blue. Briefly explain how social anxiety affects you, and take any "proof" if you have it, such as a doctor's note. Then ask your employer for support in the form of reasonable adaptions to your work environment.

If you need to write a list to remember, do so! Here are some of the things you could write on that list: 

• Working hybrid weeks - i.e., two days in the office, three at home
• Having a door half-open during meetings 
• Going for short walks throughout the day 

The idea isn't to avoid the parts of the job you don't like, such as presenting or having in-person meetings. Instead, you're trying to build a tolerance to them at a healthy pace that won't lead to burnout. 

Remember, you being healthy leads to you doing a better job. 

3. Equip yourself with some self-soothing techniques 

Social anxiety at work may feel impossible to self-soothe, but you must be patient and practice. 

I've picked up many self-soothing techniques over the years, from online or in books or reading articles by people I admire. 

For example, Sheryl Ankrom, a licensed clinical professional counsellor, shares this advice: 

“Diaphragmatic or deep breathing… stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is part of the peripheral nervous system responsible for regulating heartbeat, blood flow, and digestion.”

In everyday language? Breathing in and out from the belly can instruct your nervous system to calm down. Basically, it stops you from freaking out! 

Another self-soothing technique is finding a distraction. When I'm expected to sit still, I think of girls' names that begin with the letter "A." Like Andrea, Amy, Amelia, Ariana, etc. 

Counsellor Katharina Star explains it like this: 

“Instead of putting all your energy into the upsetting emotion, you reset your attention to something else. When you distract yourself, you can manage your strong emotions by bringing your focus elsewhere.”

4. Be kind to yourself! 

I can't emphasise that enough - be kind to yourself! 

Nobody ever got better through criticism or self-berating. These are trying times for us all, and it's essential to trust that your brain and body are doing their best. 

In their book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It, Kamal Ravikant writes: "Remember; love heals."

The takeaway

Returning to the office after working from home was tough on everyone. 

So, I'll say it again: be kind to yourself! 

If you struggle with social anxiety at work, it may be best to look into therapy. I know: talking face-to-face about your social anxiety? That doesn't make sense! 

Thankfully, many more therapy options exist besides sitting and talking to a stranger in an office. You can receive help via telephone, email, or text. It may be uncomfortable at first, but the results are worth it.

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The individual(s) who have written and created the content in and whose images appear in this article have been paid by Teva Pharmaceuticals for their contributions. This content represents the opinions of the contributor and does not necessarily reflect those of Teva Pharmaceuticals. Similarly, Teva Pharmaceuticals does not review, control, influence or endorse any content related to the contributor's websites or social media networks. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered medical advice or recommendations. Consult a qualified medical professional for diagnosis and before beginning or changing any treatment regimen​. 

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Date of preparation: August 2023
D: COB-GB-NP-00252 (V1.0) / T: COB-GB-NP-00246 (V1.0) / M: COB-GB-NP-00240 (V1.0)